Monday, October 08, 2007


I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.-Rosa Parks

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.
-- H. P. Lovecraft

We all have our fears in life don't we,even the most successful of people feel a level of apprehension for something.It might not be about money or relationships,it could be health fears.I have fears right now,i worry about my new degree.I have so many questions-Is it the right course for me?Would they expect something different from my old uni?If they do can i provide that something different?Will it get me the job i want and not just a job to make ends meet?
I have fears concerning marriage-Will i meet someone i like enough to marry?Will i ever completely forget my ex?Did my ex dent my emotions so much that i can't seem to find someone else?Will i give in to pressure just because all my friends are married?Do i care that the "love of my life" is getting married?

I have accepted that these fears are now part of me for now but also realised that the worst thing will be for me to worry excessively about them.If i worry now and don't buckle down enough to get the best out of my degree then some of my fears might well be confirmed.
I have accepted that there is no need to give in to pressure from people telling me/asking me why i am not married.I shouldn't settle for someone just because i am tired of people making snide remarks,they wouldn't be around when my "husband" starts getting on my nerves for no apparent reason.
I have accepted my Fears and I am living with them!

The conquest of fear lies in the moment of its acceptance.-Unknown.

As Bobby McFerrin says-Don't worry,Be Happy!


Ugo Daniels said...

When it's time, you'll meet your king in shining armour. Be good and pray hard.

Ex's can NEVER be forgotten. One thing or another must always make you remember, even when you're happily married. It's kinda tricky but can be suppressed.

All da best! Cheers!!

acainto said...

No girl should ever think of 'settling' or compromising, in the hope of finding happiness or fulfilment that way. Learning to be happy is like learning to drive: practice until it comes naturally to you; noone else can do it for you. All the best with your search.

Atutupoyoyo said...

Well said Classy. I feel your pain regarding the ex factor but the best thing you did was not to jump into the next relationship for the sake of it.

Marriage is not something to be taken lightly and your husband will soon find you - maybe not there in Jockland - but he will find you.

We all need a certain degree of fear in our lives. There are not many better motivational tools. It only becomes a problem when it starts to inhibit us rather than motivate.

princesa said...

Am so glad i read this post this morning.
Just what i needed.
A friend just called to tell me she was getting married this weekend and i was just wondering to myself if i would ever find someone i could love well enough to take those vows.
I hope i will.
i guess fears are just natural, the thing is not to let them take control of us.

Rinsola said...

We all have fears, but we shouldn't let it rule over any decision, especially in marriage. I hope these people have the best marriage, but truth is there's so much more to marriage than we see it to be. Good you gave yourself sometime out, just keep believing and leave it all to God to work on, I'm sure we'ld read soon on how your man found you when you least expected. Don't let the pressure from anyone weigh u down. Your own time would come soon.

cally-waffybabe said...

Babe, trust me you will find that person one day and when you do, you won't believe what you ever saw in that ex.
What's up with Pink Satin's cousin? I will say a prayer for her though whatever the case is.
Stay strong babe.

Anonymous said...

yea, like u said dont let the fears get to you. We sure do have fears no matter how slight they are. Its only human.

And i know u'l def find the one for u, i'v always believed one thing......., if only u'r patient for the right reasons, the longer u wait, the better. Cos then u find what u want/need jst the way u want/need it. Oops i hope that made some sense, lol.

Good luck in everything babes!

Nyemoni said...

I think fear is an intrinsic part of our being...think about what it would be like not to have any fear of any sort.... Excessive fear is what I'm afraid is going destoy ones' well being...Great post babe!

Omosewa said...

True talk. How do i deal with my fears? I've learnt the art of blocking them out till i'm ready to deal with them. Not always a good idea, but it helps me not get stress acne. Hmmmm, i'm sure your degree is a good idea, i hope you've met more people. And, as per,the future olowo of your ori, he'll come, and wipe away at least 99% of the memories of your ex, amen. It is well sisterly*hug*

The Last King Of Scotland said...

dont happy

cally-waffybabe said...

I've updated!!!
How are you girl?

La Reine said...

Girl, do not settle. Talk is only talk, tis your life to live after all.
Fear or worry enough to keep you alert, but don't wallow.
Lord help us, everything will work out in the end.

SET said...


cally-waffybabe said...

Oya o time to update abeg

pamelastitch said...

I agree...Fears can be a killer....

I don't know if ex's can ever be forgotten, I kinda think not...but I believe a time, when the amount of pain that came with thinking of him or her will go away and you will only be focused on fond memories...